Drawing Near

"Submit therefore to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." (James 4:7-8a)

Jay and I are about to see his oncologist in the morning.  It's just a regular check up, but then again, what's a 'regular check up' anymore?  No matter what happens to Jay from here on out, I will always feel a bit nervous before any of his appointments.  I'm sure he's feeling the same way. 

Once someone you love is diagnosed with cancer, nothing is ever the same.  It's not like you can just sit back and say, "Oh, there's nothing to worry about."  When cancer enters the picture, it consumes the life of the patient, as well as that of the spouse.  But, you can choose to live one minute at a time and pray that you can go at least one or two minutes without thinking about cancer or something related.

I can say that I think about Jay's cancer a lot.  But, as I draw near to the Lord, He is faithful to help me not be fearful.  I am scared, but I am not FULL OF FEAR as the word 'fearful' indicates.  I trust the Lord with Jay's illness, and the only 'fear' I feel now is that of REVERENCE for God and His mighty powers.  Praise the Lord that He is at work in my husband's life, as well as mine, through this cancer.

So, when I get scared, I draw closer to God and hand over that nauseus feeling in my stomach, the questions of "What if?" and the lies that the enemy is whispering in my ear and I say to the Lord, "Take these that I give to you and work it out for your glory!"  And he is so faithful to do just that.  And each time that I take them back, He is faithful to receive them back from me again, and again, and again.  Our God is so good!

So, as I said, we are seeing the oncologist tomorrow morning and we will be reviewing Jay's progress thus far with the chemo and radiation treatments.  We will also get the results of blood tests to make sure that his levels are all where they should be.  I ask my Christian Family to be in prayer for this appointment and for the test results, as well as for continued comfort and relief from minor side effects.  I thank you for your faithfulness to pray for my honey.