It's time to celebrate my 20 year high school reunion this weekend. Ahhhh 20 years!! It seems like just yesterday that I was in school. I'd like to say that I didn't have a care in the world back then, but that's not so. My school days were filled with all of the anxious life questions that a young girl shouldn't have to think about. Will I have friends? Am I pretty enough? Will I ever have a boyfriend? Will I get good grades? Am I smart enough? Why don't my parents get along? Will I ever do anything important in my life? Can I make a difference?
Throughout my high school career I was filled with such doubt about my ability to fit in and when I managed to mold myself to fit in to certain groups, I still felt so out of place. I had friends who partied and got drunk every weekend...certainly didn't fit in to that group! I had friends who were teachers...didn't fit into that group either. I fit into the jock group as far as sports were concerned, but the jocks were the weekend partiers so I only fit in as far as having the talent to play the chosen sport of the moment. I wasn't popular by any means. I wasn't pretty enough to be a cheerleader or to be on the dance squad, I wasn't smart enough to be in the academic clubs, I wasn't a trouble maker, nor was I adventurous so I couldn't fit in with those who took chances at getting caught doing something stupid like ditching class to go and get wasted...I just simply didn't find my niche. But amazingly I managed to come away with a few friends from each of those groups.
Flash forward 20 years later...in preparing for this reunion...I find myself wondering if I will fit in or if I will be able to relate to that small group of friends that I managed to keep in touch with sporadically over the years. I also wonder what has happened to those few people who managed to make my life a living hell on the school campus. Wondering if they have changed their ways or if they have any regret as to how they treated people who weren't just like them.
But, the Lord is faithful to keep my eyes focused on Him and He is preparing me for a ministry opportunity. I don't need to worry about fitting in. I don't fit in...not to worldly groups. I fit in perfectly to God's eternal plan. That's all I need to worry about. I only need to show the Lord's love that has been extended to me and I will be able to relate to anyone with an open heart. That's all I need to care about. Praise the Lord for His love and acceptance. It is all I need.