Friday, January 30, 2009


Okay, here is the latest...

Jay had an appointment with his oncologist on Wednesday. We came up with a more comprehensive pain management plan...thank the Lord! We will see if it works. So far, he has still had a ton of pain. Also, we found out that his tumor in the pelvic area has grown to twice its size since August 2008. That means that the chemo drug that he has been on since September is not working. So the doctor changed him to a brand new chemo drug. They have never given it to their patients, it's that new. We will be the guinea pigs. This new drug, Vectibix, has just been put out on the market. We are waiting for it to arrive and then Jay will have chemo next Wednesday. I am a always a bit nervous about a new chemo drug because Jay's body doesn't always react well to them. I am praying that he will be okay and his body will be able to tolerate it. Time will tell with this one.

Jay and I are both extremely exhausted. He is tired of being in pain and not feeling well enough to get out and be active, and I'm tired of this disease robbing him of the ability to get out and live his life! I am drawing strength from the Lord...that is how I am able to work AND take care of Jay. The Lord has been faithful to give me the exact measure that I need to take care of business. But, my body has taken a beating from all of this and it is feeling the need to crash. I can feel it happening. It feels like all of my energy is being sucked out of my body through my big toe. I've lost so much sleep that I am having trouble recuperating. Even when I am able to sleep for several hours straight (which doesn't happen often) it is not enough for me to feel refreshed by it.

These are difficult times, but we are both hanging in there with each other. Jay is still my hero. He is amazing to me.

Love to you all. Pray for us.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

A New Year...Same Circumstances

Hello All,

I am sorry that I haven't posted in a while, but I've been concentrating on spending time with Jay and making the most of our holidays together.

We made it to 2009! Wheeww! The sad thing is that nothing has improved for my beloved. Unfortunately, the results from a scan that we just got this week revealed that Jay's tumor is on the move again. As far as I know, it is the same ol' tumor, but it has grown; thus causing some pretty uncomfortable side effects for Jay. The tumor is putting pressure on the nerves at the base of Jay's spinal cord, which in turn is now causing his right kidney to receive a lot of pressure. We made a trip to the ER just a few weeks ago, but it was only through the scan this week that we could actually see what was going on.

That's the bad news...the GOOD news is that with some changes made in medications and learning how to manage the pain better, Jay has been sleeping fairly well, and is reasonably comfortable now. He has managed to regain some of his "perk." Praise the Lord!

No, we don't really know what all of this means. We are just "riding the wave." This is definitely a's not a brief's long, arduous and exhausting, but OH SO revealing of our own character. The Lord lives at the core of me, and HE is the One who sees me through the difficulties...but I also give my honey credit for being such a strong, strong man. I admire his courage...even in his vulnerabilities...he is my hero. I don't know that I could be so strong.

In the meantime, we just keep plugging along. February 1st will be the 3 year anniversary since Jay's cancer was discovered. I never imagined that three years later we would still be in the battle of our lives, but this trial has been sifted through the fingers of my Lord and Savior and HE alone can use this disease that was meant for bad and use it for HIS purpose. No, I am not mad at God...nor is Jay. We both understand that this is what happened, but it's what we do with it that makes the difference. We are choosing to allow this disease to make us better people...with the Lord's help.

I will try to post again soon, but Jay has an appointment January 22nd with a urologist to see about relieving the pressure from Jay's kidney so I have no idea what to expect. Know that I love each of you that keep up with us and pray for the best for us. I thank the Lord for each of you. It is nice to know that I am not alone.

Please continue to pray for Jay's comfort, for wisdom for the doctors, and over all that the Lord would continue to meet us where we are at.

Blessings to all.