Monday, October 4, 2010

Seasons Change...

Well something must be happening within me...

I've stopped counting the number of days you've been gone.
I've stopped daydreaming about what I could have done differently to keep you here longer.
I've stopped beating myself up for all the things I fell short on in our life together.
I've stopped wondering if you're okay.

I've started counting on the fact that I KNOW I will see you again someday.
I've started daydreaming about what heaven really looks like.
I've started loving myself for the person I became by the time you said "goodbye".
I've started believing that you are well.

I know that God holds you tightly every single day.
I know that you are proud of me for who I have become.
I know that you still love me even though we are not here together.
I know that you are living in God's glory.
I know that you will be waiting for me when it is my time.

I TRUST the Lord to bless your soul because you asked Him into your heart.
I TRUST the Lord to show you all the things He wanted you to know.
I TRUST the Lord to keep you safe.
I TRUST the Lord...period.

Missing you, my Love. I still think of you often...even though I may not be counting the number of days since you went to heaven. Now is my time to live a new life...for the Lord. I trust what He has for me and even though it is a very foreign place to live right now, I will persevere and finish well. I will carry you in my heart forever, Baby.

Heavenly Father, thank You for Your strength in this moment...and every other. YOU are the reason I live. Help me to seek Your plan for me. Help me to understand my calling. I pray that you will help me to open my heart to all things new. Thank You for loving me. Thank You for Your grace and Your mercy that are new each and every day that I surrender my life to You. Give me Your wisdom; Your discernment. What do You have for my life, Lord? Who will You surround me with? What things may I accomplish for YOUR glory? How may I serve You? Pour Your spirit out afresh on me, Lord. Help me to walk in Your way. Show me Your path. I praise Your Holy Name! Amen.

5 comments:

staci said...

I love the way you write... Thank you for sharing this with us..

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing. I understand loss and I understand moving on. The best is that I get it all. It is only with Christ that I have been able to live through loss. I can only imagine your loss, but I know grief. Christ continually takes me through it all. Praise Him all ways and always.
Sherrill

Catherine said...

I understand completely my sweet G-daughter. I know how you are starting to live again through your faith in our Lord. May God always bless you and I and keep a place for us both with our loved ones in his heavenly presence in time. xoxoxoxox

Arlene (AJ) said...

Jamie, it sounds like you are finding peace in your heart and you are able to start moving forward,it's what your hubby would have wanted for you. Bless you dear.

Jamie said...

Thank you, Ladies, for taking the time to read my blog. It definitely helps me to be able to write what I am experiencing.

Staci - Stay strong in your walk. The Lord is with you too.

Sherrill - I know you have experienced loss...and I can see that the Lord has been faithful to get you through it. He is good. Always, and in ALL ways. :)

Gma Cathy - It will never get easier, but experiencing the Lord's peace does help to be able to move forward. Going to Sedona really helped me to see more of God's glory and grab hold of more of His peace.

AJ - so good to hear from you. Are you even keeping a blog anymore? I lost track of you. Thank you for keep in touch with me. I pray you are well. The Lord has been faithful in my life, and I know He is doing the same for you.