Okay, so here it is...the BIG question...
How do you switch gears from preparing for a loved one's death to suddenly looking at the possibility of spending a lifetime with them? I have spent the past several days pondering this very question. The Lord revealed a completely different plan to us a few weeks ago and now I am having trouble making the transition. I have experienced every emotion possible. I have been overwhelmed with joy, felt the sorrow for people who still face the cancer battle, feared the cancer coming back again, and now I'm in the "Now what do I do, Lord?" phase.
A few months ago, Jay and I were making the "bucket list" of things to do before he died. Today, we are faced with the very real possibility of him having to go back to work. I know...I know...what a great dilemma to be in! And it is! Trust me, I count it a blessing. It is just difficult because my head is still spinning and my heart overflowing from the turn of events.
I suppose more time has to go by before I will know which path the Lord has for us next. Until then...I will stay the course until the Lord changes the direction of our path again. I trust that He is capable to be the Leader...I am good with just being the follower.
God bless.
5 comments:
Jamie you and Jay have been giving a real blessing so just allow yourself to get out and live each day and enjoy every beautiful moment and keep making wonderful memories to always hold dear in your hearts. Will take a little time to transit after all Jay was dealing with as was you dear, but isn't it wonderful you both have been given this wonderful chance to again have the opportunity to share what each day offers now in a different light. Make the most of each day and enjoy...none of know what tomorrow may bring, so live each day to the fullest. Bless you both....Arlene (AJ)
Continuation of comment below:
Okay, before I go any further, I want to say this. Right now is the time to REST. If the Lord wants you to do any of this, especially to glorify him through say speaking engagements, writing books, or helping somebody through phone calls, you will need to REST first. You may need two or three years of REST. You may also need PTSD counselling. Or survivors guilt syndrome. You may not like to hear this, but find a CHRISTIAN counsellor, and get some help. you have been through a lot. Then rest. Then go from there. The Lord will open marvelous possibilities if it is His will. One thing about doing these activities. If HE wants you to do them, they WILL open up. If HE doesn't want them to, they WON'T. So just relax. Me myself I am writing a book. That is what He has called me to do. I want to help others and give Him the glory. That is what He has called me to do. He will make clear what you are to do AFTER YOU REST. So REST AND WAIT TO SEE WHAT HE SHOWS YOU TO DO.
Hope this makes sense, Love,
Krissy :)
http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink
Jamie, I understand your feelings and situation exactly. I went through this, and am still going through it now. When I began to read your entry, I was going to say, "Wait and give it more time to see which path the Lord has for you all next!" Isn't that interesting? That is almost word for word what you said! And trust me, I know from experience, He WILL show you. Some of the things He has led us to do is: do charity work for cancer groups (I am on the board of a local group!), be chat rooms leaders to help other newly diagnosed cancer survivors, show other survivors where to get pertinent information on their disease and how to find help, etc. There are many other things to do.: Cancer awareness, legislative help, telling your story, speaking out at local meetings and groups at cancer meetings, telling your story on the radio to help others, being a telephone contact help person, writing a book to help others.
Okay, my comment won't fit, LOL, so i am doing it in two parts.
Krissy
http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink
I like what Krissy said; I think you need to rest and just allow the Lord to work in your/Jay's life and see what direction he takes you; it is an exciting time for sure and so thankful the Lord has done this wonderful miracle for you and Jay :)
betty
Jamie just thinking about you, hope you and hubby are enjoying each beautiful day your way. Arlene (AJ)
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