Well...the last week or so has been a bit overwhelming. Jay and I went to City of Hope to see the surgeon again...we weren't sure what was going to happen at that appointment. We imagined the best scenarios and then the worst in order to prepare our hearts for what we were going to hear from him. Were they going to say, "Sorry Mr. Hare, there isn't anything that we can do for you after all" or was it going to be something more positive? Well...it was a definite positive! The doc told us that my Jay is a pretty healthy young man and that surgery is the best option to try and eradicate this disease that is in his body. Yes, there is a potential that there could be further complications once they get in there...the cancer could have grown and attached itself to an organ such as the bladder and they may be forced to take a portion or all of it...which, by the way, my husband will not withstand removal of the full bladder...that would not be the best quality of his life...but, the doc says that the chances of this happening are about 5%...okay, the surgery would be worth it so far...other complications could be a lot of scar tissue blocking the area that they need to get into and they may not be able to get to where they are going...and one other thing that was identified is that they will be working in the area of the prostate so there is potential for damage there...scary, but still worth giving it a try.
We have gone from having basically a zero percent chance of Jay surviving this disease overall to about a 70% chance that with this surgery he could be cured or at least in remission for a while. 70% people!! That is huge! Praise God! So now Jay and I are having to take a look at our lives as they were a few weeks ago with no real hope to speak of and now we can see that there is a chance that Jay's life could actually change and he may have several years left...like 50! I may actually have the opportunity to grow old with my honey! God is so amazing! He is steady and consistent all the time so I shouldn't be surprised that we have been given this miracle of time...but still I am in awe that my God loves us so much that He would even consider giving us such a gift. This is an amazing unconditional love that you do not get anywhere else but from the Lord.
So "overwhelmed" is the feeling ofthe week...LOL...we have both been just reeling over changing gears to actually having to think about the possibility of Jay having to go back to work someday in the near future. Jay, of course, is reluctant to believe that any of this is true...and he is fearful that when all is said and done that this surgery may not have been worth it...but I trust that the Lord is in control of this situation and whatever He has planned for us...I'm following along. I have been swimming in the Lord's grace and mercy all week since the appointment and this is the first I have been able to write anything about it because I haven't been able to find the words to describe what we are going through.
There is a great saying that has stuck with me since I heard it about 10 years ago and I don't remember who said it but it goes like this..."The bend in the road is not the end in the road unless you fail to make the turn."
You could open a million theme parks with all of the "thrill rides" that He puts us on...all of the ups and downs, hairpin turns, and loop-the-loops...but what an amazing experience it is...this ride called life. I will never regret following the One who makes it all possible.
Who knows what will happen as a result of this surgery that is scheduled for April 23rd...but here is to "making the turn." I am on the ride for sure!
Heavenly Father, thank You for the miracle of HOPE. You make it all possible and I give all of the glory to YOU. I love you with everything I have. Watch over my Jay...Your will be done. In Jesus name. Amen.