Saturday, September 5, 2009

Changes...

"They" say not to make any changes within the first year after your spouse dies. Well...for me, something needs to change. I need to feel more at home in my home. It has been a long time since I felt that I could LIVE in my house...and I certainly have not felt at home since Jay died...so I have decided to paint my bathroom and bedroom to add a little bit of "life" to my life. Obviously painting is not going to take my grief away, but I have this need to feel a bit more settled in my day to day living. I have no clue if this is even really going to help me at all, but I'm going to give it a try. It's worth the effort.

If you ask me, the biggest CHANGE in my life has already happened so making a few cosmetic changes in my house are not going to have any significant detrimental impact on my life. If anything, I'm hoping it will help me to feel a little more like I actually belong in my house. Having Jay here was what always made this house feel like a home and now that he is gone; I feel like a foreigner in this house that we purchased together.

So, here is to making small changes. They don't fix everything; they may not fix anything; but for right now, it is making me happy. I'll take that.

2 comments:

a corgi said...

I think painting the bathroom and bedroom is an excellent thing to do, Jamie. what do "they" know anyway? we both know what "they" mean but I think you need to do what you feel is the best for you in all things, whether it is bathroom/bedroom walls or other changes you decide to make. what do "they" know anyway? perhaps "they" haven't gone through the type of grief and loss you are going through; I trust you are wise enough to make the changes you need to do

so what color did you paint the walls?

betty

eastmoormom said...

i lost my husband almost a year ago...the first change i made was to get all new bedding...i'm happy to know that i was not the only one who found this to be good. it was impossible to sleep in the bed until it was 'new'...it was too hard to lay on top of the 'old'...