Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Delete vs. Save...

I spent the better part of this morning standing in line, and then sitting in line at the DMV with Jay's Dad. He has Jay's truck, and we needed to get it transferred into his name as the new owner.

The longer I sat, the longer I had time to think...not always a good thing. I have had to remove Jay from my car insurance, remove him from life insurance, medical/dental insurance, credit, bank, etc. Now I am removing his name from his truck, and although it is exactly what he specified that he wanted in his last will and testament, I am still having a bit of a struggle with it. I almost feel like I am removing or "deleting" him from my life now. It is just a very strange feeling. It feels like no one, outside of friends and family of course, will even know that he existed.

It is just a very strange place to be right now.

But, God is in control, and He is faithful to meet me in my emotion of this moment and I give it to Him and keep moving forward. I know that my Jay's life was not in vain, and I KNOW that he not only existed, but he LIVED, and I will continue to speak of him and keep his memory alive. Computers may be able to delete him, but I cannot and WILL NOT do the same.

2 comments:

That corgi :) said...

(((Jamie))) I'm so sorry. I agree with you. I don't know how I can do it, but I will help keep Jay's memory alive too. Keep sharing him here and I will keep reading about him.

betty

Arlene (AJ) said...

Jamie, you're in my thoughts dear and I want to wish you a peaceful birthday...know this has to be a tough pne, but know your Jay is watching over you dear, like you, he'll always be there with you in your heart. Happp Birthday.